Sometimes Motherhood Sucks

For all of those who aren’t moms and get all starry idea about the idea of motherhood, get over it. Motherhood isn’t all baby giggles and smiles. Yeah, the kid is cute. And yeah, the kid smiles and it melts your heart, leaving you a total sack of mush; or they say I love you are you feel like God has descended from the heavens and patted you on the shoulder. But that stuff doesn’t happen nearly as often as the not so fun stuff.

No, when you are a mom you get to deal with poop explosions in the middle of the night. Granted, if you have a newborn, you are so sleep deprived that you don’t actually mind, just as long as your sugar pie isn’t screaming. But when you have a toddler and are no longer in the land of sleep deprived insanity, you aren’t so okay with poop everywhere at 2 AM (though you are secretly impressed and confused with the fact that junior has somehow managed to get poop on the wall 6 feet from his crib). And yes, as a mom, YOU are the one who is expected to clean it all up before you try to wrangle the little monster back into his or her crib.

Then of course, you have the toddler who decides to take off his or her diaper in the middle of the night, and wakes up terrified because they are now in soaking, icy cold, sheet. As a mom, you get to deal with putting that terrified child back to sleep, and chances are they aren’t interested in taking a trip to dreamland.

Mom’s don’t have an off switch. Trust me I have tried to find it. I searched desperately for it a few weeks ago when cleaning unknown goo off the carpet. But it’s not there. You don’t clock out, and you aren’t ever guaranteed a break. It is the job from hell.

But they those pesky, sneaky kids go and do something innocently sweet and adorable, and suddenly you are wondering why on earth you don’t have an army of the cute little buggers…well you think that for about 10 minutes until they decided to give the cat a haircut.

So why do people have more kids? I’ll tell you why. Some people are struck by temporary amnesia, and forget that having a newborn means no sleep, and having a toddler is often a non-refundable trip to hell. Other’s are special people who have super human amounts of patience and love…these are often the wonder mom types…I unfortunately am not one of them. Then there is the mommy itch, from that damned biological clock. That makes you all gooey and mushy and makes you crave babies. And last but not least, there is the mistakes…err…the surprise children.

Okay, maybe I am a little bitchy today, but the princess has been particularly full of toddler angst lately. I have dealt with an ungodly number of tantrums, mischief and mayhem this past week or so. Plus we are moving in two weeks….somewhere. Don’t know where yet.

My newest hobby: Writing

I have embarked on a new adventure. One that has the capability takes me to worlds far different from our own. But unlike reading, I can control where I want to go and what the outcome is.

A long time ago, okay maybe not that long ago, I used to write. A lot. But life happened and I had less time and less motivation. I was in school at the time and had plenty of mental stimulation and there was simply no need to add more. So I stopped writing. I still read a lot, that is one thing I can never stay away from for very long.

While being a mom provides me with lots to do and uses plenty of creativity, it doesn’t exactly provide me with the mental stimulation I crave. I tried reading books off of ivy league college reading lists, something I do almost every summer, and that too failed to provide me with enough mental stimulation to keep me occupied. So I began searching for something that would provide me with an escape into my mind. Something that would let me learn about a varaity of subjects and satisfy my need for knowledge of random usually unusable facts. That is when heard about NaNoWriMo, aka National Novel Writing Month. It is a month long event in November, in which writers from around the world and wannabe writers from around the world begin and complete a 50,000 (est. 145 page) novel. If you finish you are conisdered a winner. For me, this was the perfect reason to begin to write again. Well, to be honest, that and the fact that I have a few characters running around in my head that refuse to stay in my dreams.

Let me explain that last sentence. I am not crazy. I dream about random people who I have never meet. I call these people characters. If they really catch my attention when I wake up I continue to create stories around them, in my head. Its like playing a movie in my head. Sure it probably sounds weird, but it is a fun escape into the world of day dreams. Recently I have had more and more dreams about different characters who have stuck with me.

Anyhow, I have begun this fun annual event and thus far I am nearly halfway through, 43%, to be exact. To my suprise, I am actually LEARNING more than just random facts that are needed to make my story logical and somewhat realistic. I am learning what works and what does, in the world of writing. My writing it’s self has improved, and I am gaining more confidence in my abilty to complete this project. I am really hoping that I will complete it, just to prove that I can, in fact, finish a story. In the past I have always written 2 or 3 kick ass chapters then abandoned whatever it was that I was working on. This time I am not giving myself that option. In fact, I have decided that I don’t care how much the story sucks as long as I finish it. I can always go back and edit it and add and subtract things to make it better.

For all of you who have never heard of this wonderful phenomenon called NaNoWriMo, I highly suggest googling it and checking it out…it is quite enjoyable. Also, there is a young writers addition, in which the child can pick a word count that they deem to be difficult for their level of writing and then try to meet it by the end of the month. Personally, I can say this is a wonderful learning experience for both young and old!

Reading

After looking for new fun and enjoyable books to read I was shocked and disturbed by comments people had about Stephanie Meyer’s books. People who asked on yahoo answers what they should read next, etc, were put down by people claiming that such books are mind numbing, and that people shouldn’t read such simplistic books. I have a lotto say about that.
The twilight series is a Young Adult series. Meant for high school and middle school readers. Quite frankly, I am ecstatic at the fact that some teens are actually reading. When I was in high school, not that long ago, Reading was not something that was even remotely considered as a past time for anyone who wanted to be socially acceptable. So I am extremely pleased that such books have become popular among young adults. Just because they aren’t reading Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte, Shakespeare, Homer, or any of the other famous authors, doesn’t mean they aren’t learning. Reading novels of any kind teachs vocabulary, grammar, and other literary skills, that can not be effectively taught any other way.
For people who don’t like certain books and are quite mean about other literary choices, need to learn to quit beig purposely mean. So what if someone likes a book you didn’t. We are all different. We all like some things while others don’t. Just as some people like some foods while others don’t. I dunno, it just shocks me that people can be so purposefully hurtful and mean over a book choice. Sigh.
Anyway, the purpose of this post was mainly to say ones book choice doesn’t indicate how well read they are or even how smart they are.
I personally enjoyed all of Stephenie meyer’s books, along with a great deal of other relatively simple books, but I have also read Jane austin, Bronte, Shakespeare, Tolstoy, etc…and I have read all of them simply because I enjoy them.
Just because one enjoys the emotions portrayed in one set doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy the literary genius in another. Sigh.

Vacation

I have decided I am in serious need of a vacation. A vacation BY MYSELF. I do contract work every once in a while, and the money I make from that is mine to do with as I wish. So I have decided I am going to start hoarding it and use it on a much needed vacation. I have no idea where I want to go, I just know where ever I go it’s going to be far away (so I can’t be asked to come home and help with my daughter)! Some people may say that this is a selfish act…I don’t think so. I think every mom needs some down time, and if you can’t so that and be in the same state, well then I think after a year of non-stop parenting, I most definately need to escape before I go absolutely nuts. I have full confidence that getting away helps moms be better moms.
Since I have the opportunity, I am thinking that this is going to be a blast!

Twilight

I finally read twilight. I am not 100%sure that that was a great idea. I read all 4 books in 3 days and now wish I had read them much slower so I could have really enjoyed them…like fine wine. But instead I read through them like a maniac. And now they are done and i am having an incredibly difficult time getting them out if my head. I think half of the problem is that I really dislike how the last book, breaking dawn ended…”happily ever after”. While I am all for the happy endings, I need closure on so many things. For instance, what happened to their daughter? Did she end up with Jacob? I doubt the voltori (sp?) just would walk away FOREVER. It just doesn’t seem like proper closure was given.
I understand why people loved them so much. The lure of true love for eternity is, well, something every girl has dreamed about. Finding your soul mate…that is every girls dream….being able to stay with that person forever, well who wouldn’t want that?
I watched the movie too..it was alright. I didn’t think it was nearly long enough and I didn’t think the characters were developed well enough fir someone who didn’t read the books to really understand their connection. I also didn’t like that they left out A LOT of infomation. At the same time I do understand why this would be a difficult series to put into a movie…
Sigh. I am still trying to get my head out of the twilight haze…it’s taking up all of my daydreams since I am trying to create my own versions of closure…sadly that means my poor brain is trying to come up with zillions of possible ending. Grumble. It may have been better if I had stayed away from the books. Oh well too late now. I wish it would get sunny out so at least the weather would cheer me up. The gloominess isn’t helping my mood.

The adventures of night weaning

The adventures of night weaning have begun. I have finally gotten the okay to go ahead and night wean… And my pediatrician was so kind as to also give me some suggestions, since she knows I am not a big fan of letting my baby cry it out.
The first step is just getting her used to not initially falling asleep at the breast..so when I put her to sleep at night I make sure she has eatten enough as to not be hungry. I nurse her before her bath. Then go through with my normal bedtime routine. When it is time to put her to sleep I just rock her to sleep. This way she is begining to learn how to put herself to sleep. When she does this easily without a huge battle, I can move to step two. Madam Baby has been less than cooperative, but she is beginning to get the hang of it. Once she quits acting like she is possessed when I am trying to rock her and easily falls asleep I will move to step two… Hopefully that will be soon.
Step two is to slowly stop her from feeding at night. You cut out one feeding at a time and instead of going in and breastfeeding you are supposed to go in and rock the baby to sleep. I am going to. It out her midnigt feeding first. You are supposed to cutnout one feeding and wait a few days so they can get used to the change. Then you cut out another and wait a few days. You do this until you are just rocking them to sleep. Apparently they may just stop waking up for the feedings all together…my guess is that that won’t be my child…lol.
Step three is to start to slowly decrease the rocking and eventually just be sitting and holding the baby unt they fall asleep. Then once that is easy you start putting them into bed when they are really drozy and start to just pat their back and sing until they fall asleep. Then just hold your hand on their back then just lay them down and sing a lullaby and leave. We will see if this works…

New spin to tuna

Today I wanted to make my yummy salmon dip/salad for my daughter, but didn’t have any canned salmon sitting around..so I improvised and came up with the most amazing mix ever. My daughter, who won’t touch tuna, was licking this off her fingers..and so was I.

Tasty Tuna Salad
Serves 2
Ingredients:
1 can of tuna
3 tablespoons of jarred roasted red peppers
2 tablespoons of cream cheese
1 1/2 tablespoons of mayo..or however much you prefer. Everyone likes there tuna with a different amount of mayo..so feel free to put more or less.
1 tablespoon chopped onion
2 teaspoons ground pepper
4 drops of hicory smoke liquid (opt)

I normally put celery in my tuna salad, but I didn’t have any to experiment with.

Instructions:

Squeeze all the oil out of the jarred red peppers. Then chop them finely. Squeeze all oil or water out of the tuna. Put tuna in bowl with cream cheese and mayo and onion and red pepper and pepper. If you are going to use hicory smoke go ahead and add it along with any other ingredients. Mix WELL. The cream cheese will be a little difficult to incorporate. I suggest using a fork.

Baking

Baking for me is so much fun. It is relaxing, and I LOVE when I get to finally bake my bread and see that it has turned out to actually be bread (I never think it is going to turn out, no matter how many successes, I am always convinced it isn’t right….). So last week when my mom made two baking requests I was THRILLED. She requested I make the ciabatta rolls for grilled veggie sandwiches (which turned out extremely well) one of the rolls is in the picture above (I just made regular ciabatta and instead of shaping it into two large loaves I split it into rolls…granted if you do this you need to let the rise after the shaping be longer than normal to ensure lots of large bubbles).

She also requested that I make foccaccia to go with soup that she was making. That turned out so well that there was NONE left after dinner. I used a recipe found in the Bread Bible. The whole time I was convinced it wasn’t going to turn out as it is an extremely thin dough with a HUGE water percentage in it. None the less, it was wonderful.

Lilies

My lilies are FINALLY blooming!

Rantings on Youth and Reading

I have come to the horrifying conclusion that todays youth, simply doesn’t read. I knew when I was growing up that reading wasn’t “in”, but I think it has gotten even worse. I have also decided that reading in males is at a pitiful level. I found out yesterday that my husband hasn’t been in the library since middle school. Which was at least 13 to 15 years ago! I can see in my brothers (who are both teenagers) and their friends, that reading simply doesn’t mean anything anymore. And the sad result is that today’s youth is getting less and less educated. If they know something about a book, it is because of a movie.
While I think today’s teachers are better than they were a decade ago, I think that they are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of students. I also think a lot of new teachers simply aren’t prepared for today’s loud, aggressive, uninterested, youth. Plus, the way classics are taught is disappointing, I remember being in high school and being horrified with how my enthusastic teachers taught the classics. They did it “only because they had to” and used movies and such to drill the concept into our heads. I being the “weird” one, who LOVED books and the magical worlds they had to offer, was very upset.
I also think parents care much less about reading, they just want their kids to get good grades, they don’t care if they read or not. The only problem with this is that their kids aren’t benefiting from the language development that comes from reading. Reading books like Jane Eyre and other relatively simple classics build huge amounts of knowledge on historical culture and language. I think if some of these parents met some of the well read children, they might notice a profound difference in language skills, intellect, and maturity.
I think there are a lot of very intelligent kids who are really missing out on developing their intelligence by buying into the cultural “reading isn’t cool” message.